The Blooperstars of SOW

Welcome to SOW Wrestling and its stars!

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Senor Sexless This poor sap could be considered by some to be a very talented wrestler except for the fact that he tends to do lame moves and steals moves from other wrestlers. What charisma he possesses comes start from his cocky attitude and bleak sense of humor. What he lacks in mental capacity, he makes up for with awkward catch phrases and lame jokes. Poor, poor Senor Sexless. He looks like a hobbit for cryin' out loud! No wonder he doesn't get any. Funny Factual Coincidence: Elijah Wood played a character named Casey in the movie, The Faculty.	The Blond Hans Lesnar "Aaaaah!" he exclaimed with great relish. Big, stiff, and powerful, this blondie knows what it means when someone says: "Go screw yourself!" And he does. Taking out his hard piece, he moves his hand up and down, up and down, trying to push the block of fire wood into his pants to make up for what he lacks in "character." This is what the huge pulsating monster is all about. He only needs one move and that's grabbing his opponent's head and forcing it downward, which he can execute from "every" possible position. Funny Factual Coincidence: Dolph Lundgren's real first name is Hans.
Justified Crappiness His lack of authority makes him a joke. From his bland serious nature to his charisma-less character, he is oblivious to what it really takes to make a good law enforcer. He thinks he is the big dog in the yard, yet he gets his butt kicked in every single match. All he is good for is a quick laugh and maybe yard duty at the local elementary school. Funny Factual Coincidence: He isn't really a cop folks, he only plays one on tv.	Dangerously Sterile Fatty This one is a very sad case. The poor guy is sterile although we all know he tries. He tries in hopes that one day the little guy might rise for the occasion, but until then it's magazines, video tapes, and plastic rod shaped objects galore for this man. He feels that it may be the size, planning that one day he will get that enlarging surgery he has always wanted. Or maybe one day he will find a woman or probably a man to help him out with his "little" problem, but until then, he will continue the everlasting search for a cure for his little buddy. Funny Factual Coincidence: Steve is really sterile folks, because of his very small thingy.
TheZero This guy is the biggest piece of garbage supporting SOW. His insults are childish, but his wee-wee is child-like. He hides behind his name, afraid that revealing himself would get his butt kicked. He can not back up his claims, because he has no real evidence to back them up with. He is the classic coward. He goes on message boards and guestbooks only to insult people he isn't even face to face with. His outlandish statements overwhelm his sense of reality. If anyone were to meet him, they would find that he is nothing more than talk, doesn't act gay on accident, and is one pathetic excuse for a human being. Funny Factual Coincidence: This loser really is nothing more than a big fat Zero.
The Shmuck What he lacks in brain power, mobility, humor, and anorexia, he makes up for with sheer stupidity, dullard moves, lame jokes, farting, and flashing. His ability to flash his massive gut at someone makes them go blind and run off incoherently in disgust. His flatulence is repulsive, yet he does it for fun. His Neanderthal appearance, makes him look like a huge beast ready to eat your children. Watch out, there's a hurricane acomin' through and it will...... SQUASH YOU ALL!!! Funny Factual Coincidence: Look at the picture and see for yourself, Jimmy could be Farley's long lost brother.
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